Saturday, March 13, 2010

I'm Back

I took an unintentional break from blogging. I’ve been consumed with changes that are coming my way and the worry that is growing during this “wait and see” perod.

I‘m writing this at 4:50 on a Saturday morning. This is the first day I’ve been able to sleep in for 2 weeks and I can’t keep my eyes closed. I’ve been lying awake staring into the black (both literally and figuratively) since 3 o’something. I’ve been thinking of all the challenges we’ll be facing over the next few months and searching for solutions, but my mind comes up – well, black.

I’m filled with worry – and it sucks!

We have such a joyous occasion ahead of us. Our son is due to arrive in just 10 weeks. I cannot wait to meet him and hold an infant in my arms again. There is something so sweet and precious about those moments. And they are just moments. It passes too quickly.

So this morning I wake with a full bladder somewhere around 3:00, take care of it, and when I lay back down Worry 1 makes an appearance. Then Worry 2 decides to make it a duet, which leads to Worry 3 trying to snatch some of the spotlight. All of this then leads to a whole new worry I didn’t even realize existed, and now it’s trying to get some attention.

You know how it goes.

This whole show has been going on for the past few nights and it’s seeped into the daytime hours as well. At least the cost is less during the day, as matinees usually are. I have other things vying for my attention when the sun is out.

But at night, when everyone’s asleep, the Worries come out like Thing 1 and Thing 2 from the Dr. Seuss book, stirring up this and that and basically wreaking havoc.

Now if only the Cat in the Hat could come and make everything neat and tidy again.

If only.


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