Friday, September 24, 2010

Room to Breathe

The last couple of weeks have been unspeakable.

The last couple of weeks have been unbloggable (as you can tell from my absence).

The last couple of weeks had me gasping for air, literally. I found myself trying to catch my breath a couple times while just sitting on the couch.

I’ve wanted to curl up in a fetal position and sleep until everything cleared itself up. Fortunately, I have kids that don’t allow me to check out like that or believe me, I would have stayed in bed for days.

Today was the first day I felt like I had some breathing room. During a lull in the afternoon I put on one of my David Gray cd’s, picked up a book I’ve been wanting to read, and eased back in the recliner ready to zone out for a while. Sarah came up asking to sit with me. I pulled her up thinking I could read with her snuggled in my lap, but she kept throwing Ziggy, her prized stuff animal, down to the ground.

Over and over I picked it up.

Again and again down he went.

Finally, I announced I was done with this “game.” She slid off my lap onto the floor to pout. Normally I would let her pout and just ignore her, but today it didn’t feel right. I spied one of her books on the coffee table and picked it up.

“Do you want me to read to you?” I asked.

A huge smile lit up her face. Without a word she climbed back up in the chair with me and I read the book, silly voices and all. Half way through I felt Savannah lean on the back of my chair listening. I guess they were glad to have Mommy fully engaged again. Not that I haven’t been engaged, but I haven’t been a lot of fun.

That reading time gave me a little breath I’ve been lacking. The smile on Sarah’s face, my voice luring Savannah in, a little music in the background; they may not have resolved my problems, but they were the fresh air I needed

Sometimes when things get bad and we feel stifled or hopeless, we just need to remember to give ourselves a little room to breathe.


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