Thursday, December 10, 2009

Maiden Entry

I’m taking the leap. I’ve wanted to start a blog for about 2 years now, but I guess I was scared to make the commitment or put my crazy, run-away thoughts out in public. Since I think about it so often, and enjoy reading other blogs, I figure it’s time (southern phrase) to start. So here goes.

What can you expect me to talk about? You’ll hear about Pat, my husband of 12 years. (Did I get that right, Honey?) You’ll also meet my 2 daughters: Savannah, 10, and Sarah, 2: the 2 best things I’ve done in my life. You’ll experience my current pregnancy as well. We just found out last week that it’s a boy. Yeah! I can stop trying now! Seriously, though, I’ve wanted a boy for a while and I can’t wait to meet him and have a little more testosterone in the house - not that Pat doesn’t provide enough!

I’ll also vent about my frustrations with my career, if you could call it that. At 40, I don’t feel that I’m doing what I should. Arriving and leaving work drained most days can’t be a good thing, can it? I hope this blog will help me sort things out so that I can get on the right track and maybe take some chances that lead to change.

Then there’s my spiritual side. Despite growing up with a Methodist minister as a mother and a Baptist music leader as a father, I’m just now trying to find my own spirituality. Not what mom or dad told me or showed me, but my own individual relationship with God. I’ve always been a believer, but never took it seriously. In my teens and twenties I didn’t believe you could be a “Good Christian” and still have fun. Know what I mean? But now, thanks to expanding my friendship base and opening my heart and mind, I realize you can still have a glass (or two or three) of wine, or let an occasional f-bomb drop (for me, it’s more frequent than occasional) and you won’t be laughed out of church or put in a corner with a picture of flames all around you to remind you of where you’re going.

I’ve been blessed to have been given the opportunity to explore my spirituality through music with my husband. He’s the band leader at our church and I now have the pleasure of singing with him (a secret dream I’ve had since I met him 15 years ago), along with other members of the band that we are so blessed to have. (Our rhythm section rocks!) Some of the sacred music out there is pretty hokey, but some of it is so honest and really describes where I am, and where I feel so many of us are in our spirituality with such a materialistic and fast-paced world. This music has opened up a new avenue for me to drive down and really try to take it all in while the whispers float in through the open window. (Ok – I just turned hokey myself.)

Don’t be scared away. This blog isn’t just a place to explore spirituality, though. It’s a place to write about my beloved family, our experiences and downfalls, my career frustrations, pregnancy, and, yes…dealing with turning the dreaded 40.

I hope you take the ride with me.


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